The Disguise of Certainty

Don't ever allow your certainty to inhibit the postulation of an ideal reality.

- BMA

Some people continue to have the same problems, because they cannot accept having something better. Having something better is beyond their level of acceptance. This means they have framed their reality in such a way as to truly believe that it is not possible for things to get better than they are freely accepting right now. They have associated their undesirable reality as "normal". Their willingness to only accept this reality is due to the certainty of its ownership (no risk), and the use of it as an excuse for their emotional instability (justification).

You see, they cannot be sure of what they don't own, because it is not comfortable. They are unwilling to admit cause of this uncertainty. This is directly related to having a fear of the unknown, because they cannot relate well with a reality in which things could be better. They can't own it just yet (no control), so they look at it as a potential risk. A person in this state of grief will not be courageous, and subsequently will not confront their fears of uncertainty. Accepting the current "abnormal" reality takes less emotional resources and due to a perceived scarcity, it becomes a part of their reality in which survival itself is at least certain.

A lot of these people do not want to grow as a person, because they believe there is no point in taking the risk at that time. This is why they stay the way they are and will continue to accept the reality in which many others would find undesirable.

You get a person out of this state by rehabilitating his delivery and acceptance levels. You need to find or create something that will align with a purpose for him to outflow resources in order to obtain something he desires. In other words, you need to create a game scenario in which they get interested in playing to the point of "taking it serious to win". Self-evidently, all games require one to accept the turns of others whether it is beneficial to you or not. You can start by getting them to accept what is free and beneficial, graduate them to "trading", and then outflow at risk. He can raise up his emotional control later once he has full control of his ability to be serious about a game he can win. This is the first step in getting them out of their fears of uncertainty and into gradual wins towards having ownership of a purpose again. With no purpose, one will feel as if there is no game to play and thus is being a spectator of nothing.

The idea here is to confront that which is uncertain. You can let go of things you are certain about, because you already own and fully control them. You don't need to "hold on" to it anymore. By letting it go, you can move towards that which is uncertain, because you're no longer afraid to lose what you can easily create. And with this intention in mind, your courage will lead you towards an absolute certainty of it all.